I’ve come to an important realization: Projects are very important to me and I’m very bad at them. The only projects outside of work that I’ve really had any luck with in the (almost) ten years since college are:
* a few patches to the Linux kernel in 1998
* NaNoWriMo 2007
That’s basically it. And NaNoWriMo didn’t result in an actual deliverable, as I wanted, though given my lack of writing experience, that is understandable.
I have tried a variety of things. My goal when I moved to Seattle (after graduating) was to make it on my own. I had problems back then with taking initiative and being in control of my life, so I moved to Seattle where I barely knew anyone and tried a bunch of stuff, made mistakes, and learned lots. So I’m not too disappointed with my adult life.
However, there are many things I haven’t completed:
* second language: see post from last night
* knit sweater: about half done
* countless software projects: most aren’t even half finished
* music: I’ve spent a lot of time learning music theory and playing a few instruments, but never focused enough to have anything worth showing off
* countless half finished books: everyone has this problem, but few are as bad as me
* half marathon: was running very regularly and got up to 8-9 miles (not bad for a former sprinter) but never actually did the half marathon
There are many other things but that is a good sample.
I’ve thought a lot lately about why I want to do all these projects and why I’m unhappy that I haven’t made more progress. I’m not sure I’m ready to answer that yet.
Instead, I’m focusing on ways of improving my habits so I can be more productive and focused and actually deliver something of interest or value to the world.
NaNoWriMo was an eye-opener in terms of turning off the inner critic. I’ve talked about that a lot already, so I won’t say it again. I’ll just say that I encourage everyone to try it.
Getting Things Done (the book and various online resources and communities) seem like very good ideas. I’ve had a little luck with the techniques and tips from sites like 43 Folders, but something hasn’t quite clicked yet.
I need to figure out how to focus. In the short term, I need to be disciplined and not check email or RSS every few minutes. In the long term, I need to continue a project until it is finished, get the reward, and then move on to the next project.
And I need to learn to pick projects up after they’ve been sitting for a while. I’m surprisingly bad at this. I’m almost completely incapable of seeing the value in anything I did over two weeks previous. I seriously have some messed up neurons in that part of my brain. I’ve started countless projects over only to stop halfway through. Again and again.
One thing I’m thinking of trying again is free software. It might not be as fun as it was the first time I got a patch accepted into the Linux kernel, but the energy of working with a lot of other people from around the world is a useful tool.
I also want to mix in some non-creative projects, such as learning a second language. After 8 hours of programming, I find it difficult to expend the mental energy necessary for creating interesting stories or writing complex code. But sitting down with flash cards or a book on grammar is pretty easy.
I’ll write more later but it feels good to get this much down. It is both frustrating and motivating to see all the things I haven’t done.
